Ive always wanted a boy to have a long drawn out speech about how he cares about me...

i guess every girl wants that.

I wish i had hair like that.
Went to chapel hill for awhile today.
Saw sierra. sleepover. superbad. wendys. funtimes.
Made dinner tonight. i felt like not having a sandwich or fast food for once
i finally had a home cooked meal.
spaghetti. aka my favorite food.
i want a plaid pea coat.
eight simple rules for dating my teenage daughter is on my television right now
it is not as funny as i thought it was when i was younger.
last night me and sierra figured out that we are growing up.
i was sad. we were watching youtube videos that we used to watch all the time our junior and senior years of high school and they just werent as funny as they used to be.
Sierra told me that she found Spencer on facebook last night.
what she doesnt know is that i found him on facebook about 6 months ago.
She told me he accepted her on facebook as a friend, if i try he will just probably get a restraining order.
im not a stalker, he is just a pathetic guy who thinks that im obsessed with him.
why i fell in love with him, god only knows.
He has a girlfriend.
when sierra told me that last night it hurt but not as much as i thought it would.
i guess im finally over him.
oh well that only took like a year and a half.
whatever his girlfriend is probably ugly.
or a bitch, cause only a bitch could go out with an asshole like him...
...i really need to get my jealous side under control.
i wanna go on a date.
interested?

That i do not like Out West Steak House.
i decided to get some bacon cheese fries because nothing else seemed appealing
They werent even fries! They were chunky sliced potatos.
like cubes.
it was weird.
Im watching the hannah montana concert on television right now
im entranced.
but more excited for the jonas brothers to come on.
its sad but i think i love them :D <3 :)
:)$*^)#@
a month from today i wish be starting classes and such
can you say FINALLY?!
going over to patrick and tonys tonight
i feel a bit guilty seeing as brittany is my friend but ive been spending a whole lot more time with patrick than with her.
i guess she has been "pre-occupied"
whatevs im done with letting stuff bother me.
Ive decided that pepsi is also gods gift to humans.
give me a pepsi and a cinnabun and ill be good.
and sick.
but an okay type of sick :)
i just saw a man on tv with a long white blonde wig on....
that should never happen
I used to think Miley Cyrus was cool.
i hate how people see a photo of her with her friend like playing around
eatting licorice and such
and yet thats risque?
has any of you guys been on myspace lately to see how some girls are looking these days.
I really like an outfit that she is wearing right now though lol.
white boy tank, jean, and the coolest tie ive ever seen.
Other than the 8-bit tie ive seen
those make me giggle.
I need to go back to school shopping.
My father is being a bitch about that lately
god forbid i need some new sheets
he replied by saying i need to learn how to knit then.
i mean thats cool i suppose.
whatev.
off to eat cheese fries and get fat lol.
anyone wanna join me?

...does not tast good at 1am.
i learned that i am one of the last people in the world that says ::sigh:: anymore when iming.
but apparently *sigh* is now acceptable?
umm not sure if im okay with that.
Went to work today
they didnt give me a day i asked off all because it is tax free weekend.
um i didnt know that but im still getting that day off
tax or no tax
which reminds me that i need to go back to school shopping
drove by my dorm today
its pretty bangin'
ready for school to begin
27 more days
sophmore year. woot woot.
mono is gone.
boring day = boring night.
cept for the fact everyone is texting me about how drunk they are.
thanks for rubbing it in guys!

admit you have feelings for me. youve done it once, you can do it again.

if you arent going to

then stop toying with me

im done.

it is 12:40am.
slightly tired, but not to the point of actually going to bed.
tonight is the first night in three nights that i have been able to sleep in my own bed. Thursday night me and brittany headed out to linconton to visit luke aka "cool hand". saw the dark knight at midnight. in one word. AMAZING!!! Heath Ledger was way more amazing than i thought he would be. talk about a performance. we then proceeded to stay the night at Lukes house. Didnt go to bed till 7am. Gotta love late nights with good friends. this time i didnt fall asleep and say random shit. Friday we woke up around 2:30pm and went to tacobell and walmart. Rock Band for playstation 2 was only 80 dollars for the whole set. i got so excited i said Fuckin A and then noticed that there was a toddler standing by me. i felt bad for an hour. esp. after luke called me out on it.
talk about a guilt trip. one ticket please?
Brittany and me then headed up and luke drove down to stay the night with us. sierra came as well. that night was more than the word interesting could even describe. i only got about 45 minutes of sleep because i had to be at work across town for a meeting at 8am. talk about a peice of shit time.
drove back to brittany's while jaming to family force 5. then fell asleep at noon for half an hour before driving sierra home. luke left and i took a 4 hour nap, before taking a shower and going back to brittanys to leave for virginia. made it all to brittanys house and to Bens on a quarter tank of gas. talk about some fucking AMAZING gas miliage. Filled up gas at 3.79 a gallon.
fucking a.
i really should stop saying that phrase.
ive decided that cinnabuns are gods gift to humans :-]
Im having a lot of trouble figuring people out these days. ive always had a gift for being to tell when people like each other. its a scarey accurate gift actually but when it comes to me, my gift doesnt exsist. i can never tell when a guy likes me, and right now not knowing is the hardest thing ive had to deal with. i go from thinking he likes me and being uber excited and happy and on top of the world, and then reality hits. the reality of him and me never ever going to have a chance in hell of being anything more than what we are. id have to betray and backstab people and im not that girl, i refuse to be that girl. chris told me last night that i can either go for what i want or sit back quitely and wait for good things to come to me.
i then proceeded to kick his ass at pool. 5 times in a row.
I have a problem of wanting what i cant have
and then complaining that i cant have it.
i need to work on that.
all in all its because as much as i say i want a relationship, in reality, relationships scare the shit out of me. being completly open and honest and leting someone be that close to you just scares the shit out of me. ive never been able to do that with anyone, not my mother, my siblings, my friends, no one knows the true me, i have lied to every person i know in some way whether it be about me liking movies that i hate or playing games that i dont want or lying about my music taste. the thought of someone knowing every detail about, just seems trapping.
is trapping even a word.
if not im gonna get on webster to make it one.
ive decided that guitar hero should make a warped tour version.
with like Fall out boy, drop kick murphys, cobra starship, the academy is..., blink 182, and so on and so fourth. i dont know anyone who thinks thats a bad idea.
If you havent heard of the band Nightmare of you, im sad for you. i realized how much i truely love that band today when i found their cd.
i think me and Fez from that 70s show share a crazy addiction to candy.
i could totes use some twizlers right now.
thought about getting contacts today. my eyes look smaller with glasses on and i love how big my eyes are. i need to cut my hair though, and possibly dye another crazy color into it.

Only Fooling Myself - Kate Voegele

I stop to catch my breath
And I stop to catch your eye
No need to second-guess
That you've been on my mind
I dream days away, but that's okay

It's like I want to hear a silent sound
And then hold it in my hand
But a rose won't blossom from a ground
Of desert sand, but I like to pretend that

One day I'll turn around, I'll see your hand reach out
I'm only fooling myself, oh
But maybe when you smile
It means you'd stay awhile
Just maybe you'd save me now

Well, now it's etched in stone
That I can't survive alone
You have the missing piece
That I need so desperately
Yes, I slip away to a day that'll never come

It's like a splash of water to my face
When I suddenly realize
That you could never find a place
For me in your eyes, and I don't know why I keep thinking

[Chorus]

It's love in disguise
I'm lost in your eyes
Lost in your eyes

[Chorus]

Ive had a busy couple of weeks.
its been the first time in weeks actually that i have been at home all day with nothing to do. it was kind of nice.
Went to mellow mushroom with sierra and my big. food = amazing, big and sierra = always amazing, running into sadie while sierra is CLEARLY pissed off at her= incredibly awkward.
walked around winston and found the apartment me and sierra want to move into when i graduate. heres to hoping we are still friends and/or still both living in NC.
Drank at Justins house with him and austin. couldnt sleep and ended up driving home at six AM. didnt go to bed till like eight.
Threw a goodbye party for my friends going to germany. didnt go home till 5am. these late nights are killling me.
Warped tour oheight=amazing
other than the fact that me and sierra missed the exit twice and ended up getting there anhour late, just in time to miss Gymclassheroes and A Cursive Memory.
sadtimes.
FINALLY got my picture with hunter thompson, a journey that was 4 months coming. i think i freaked him out a bit though, but a girl who was like crying next to me for the oppertunity to get a picture probably seemed worse than me. so no worried :D
took 2 hours to drive home.
almost fell asleep on the ride home, bought Tacobell and was totally refuled.
tacobell=energy.
decided that Colin from a Cursive memory and me are pretty much meant to be.
woke up at 4am and was so dehydrated from warped tour drank a whole bottle of water in like 5 minutes and proceeded to go back to bed.
which looks like a good idea for right now.