it is 12:40am.
slightly tired, but not to the point of actually going to bed.
tonight is the first night in three nights that i have been able to sleep in my own bed. Thursday night me and brittany headed out to linconton to visit luke aka "cool hand". saw the dark knight at midnight. in one word. AMAZING!!! Heath Ledger was way more amazing than i thought he would be. talk about a performance. we then proceeded to stay the night at Lukes house. Didnt go to bed till 7am. Gotta love late nights with good friends. this time i didnt fall asleep and say random shit. Friday we woke up around 2:30pm and went to tacobell and walmart. Rock Band for playstation 2 was only 80 dollars for the whole set. i got so excited i said Fuckin A and then noticed that there was a toddler standing by me. i felt bad for an hour. esp. after luke called me out on it.
talk about a guilt trip. one ticket please?
Brittany and me then headed up and luke drove down to stay the night with us. sierra came as well. that night was more than the word interesting could even describe. i only got about 45 minutes of sleep because i had to be at work across town for a meeting at 8am. talk about a peice of shit time.
drove back to brittany's while jaming to family force 5. then fell asleep at noon for half an hour before driving sierra home. luke left and i took a 4 hour nap, before taking a shower and going back to brittanys to leave for virginia. made it all to brittanys house and to Bens on a quarter tank of gas. talk about some fucking AMAZING gas miliage. Filled up gas at 3.79 a gallon.
fucking a.
i really should stop saying that phrase.
ive decided that cinnabuns are gods gift to humans :-]
Im having a lot of trouble figuring people out these days. ive always had a gift for being to tell when people like each other. its a scarey accurate gift actually but when it comes to me, my gift doesnt exsist. i can never tell when a guy likes me, and right now not knowing is the hardest thing ive had to deal with. i go from thinking he likes me and being uber excited and happy and on top of the world, and then reality hits. the reality of him and me never ever going to have a chance in hell of being anything more than what we are. id have to betray and backstab people and im not that girl, i refuse to be that girl. chris told me last night that i can either go for what i want or sit back quitely and wait for good things to come to me.
i then proceeded to kick his ass at pool. 5 times in a row.
I have a problem of wanting what i cant have
and then complaining that i cant have it.
i need to work on that.
all in all its because as much as i say i want a relationship, in reality, relationships scare the shit out of me. being completly open and honest and leting someone be that close to you just scares the shit out of me. ive never been able to do that with anyone, not my mother, my siblings, my friends, no one knows the true me, i have lied to every person i know in some way whether it be about me liking movies that i hate or playing games that i dont want or lying about my music taste. the thought of someone knowing every detail about, just seems trapping.
is trapping even a word.
if not im gonna get on webster to make it one.
ive decided that guitar hero should make a warped tour version.
with like Fall out boy, drop kick murphys, cobra starship, the academy is..., blink 182, and so on and so fourth. i dont know anyone who thinks thats a bad idea.
If you havent heard of the band Nightmare of you, im sad for you. i realized how much i truely love that band today when i found their cd.
i think me and Fez from that 70s show share a crazy addiction to candy.
i could totes use some twizlers right now.
thought about getting contacts today. my eyes look smaller with glasses on and i love how big my eyes are. i need to cut my hair though, and possibly dye another crazy color into it.